Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Noisy, cluttered, and inexcusably vulgar, director Michael Bay’s Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen sets a new high-water mark for tastelessness in a Hollywood summer blockbuster. Not just bad, but offensively bad, the sequel squanders the potential set up by its relatively entertaining 2007 predecessor. While it’s no surprise that Fallen makes ample use of Megan Fox, who was clearly instructed to make all of her scenes into extended Maxim photo shoots, the movie loads many of its plot-deficient sequences with blatantly unlikable characters, both human and metallic, who convey mind-numbing crudity that serves absolutely no purpose. Most egregiously, this Transformers actually descends into robo-minstrelsy, employing thinly veiled racial stereotypes that will have even the most non-PC viewers taken aback. Hidden in this gargantuan toy-inspired mess are exactly two impressive robot smack-downs that fully utilize the film’s ridiculous special-effects budget and respectively showcase heroic Autobots Optimus Prime and Bumblebee, who are the only empathetic and interesting figures in the entire movie—Shia LaBeouf’s bland protagonist included. If you see this movie at all, watch it on DVD with liberal use of the “scene selection” feature, and avoid having 2 ½ hours of your life sucked into senseless CGI-heavy oblivion.