Sympathy For Lady Vengeance is about to become very American

Korean auteur Park Chan-wook's crime drama Sympathy For Lady Vengeance -- in which a woman hunts down the real perpetrators of a murder for which she was wrongly incarcerated -- is set to receive the highly dubious honor of an American remake, finally righting the wrongs perpetrated by some subtitles getting in the way of a bunch of awesome violent stuff.

Admittedly, this project comes with a fairly decent pedigree: Megan Ellison, the indie film world's savior as of late, is set to produce, with William Monahan (the Oscar-winning screenwriter of The Departed) on board to write and direct, and Charlize Theron is attached to star as the titular Lady Vengeance (real name: Cathy Vengeance). So unlike that upcoming Oldboy remake, at least this film won't suddenly become a stagey and self-serious polemic about race relations in New York City or whatever.

And for those of you worried about exactly how American this remake will be, Monahan wants to assure you that, "This will be very American." So be sure to look out next year for Arby's Presents: Sympathy For Lady Vengeance and a Side of Curly Fries, in which Theron and Honey Boo Boo Child seek revenge on a dastardly gang of subtitles for making them read. Soundtrack by Skrillex and Grover Norquist!